How one equestrian trans rider inspired another on their transition journey

In honor of Pride Month, Outsports is asking LGBTQ people in sports to write a letter to a role model. The only criteria is that the model identifies as LGBTQ. Today, equestrian rider Jay Robison writes to fellow equestrian Eric Zegar, known as Bean. The two grew up riding together in New York. They both identify as trans.

Dear Bean,

I yearned for the confidence I had as a kid and saw it in your face the day you walked into the barn after your upstairs surgery.

I had started to lose faith that I would grab it again because I had been miserable and bad about myself for as long as I could remember. I said I didn’t know why, but I think I was just scared.

I had a vague idea of what it meant to be trans; however, I had never been close to someone who identified as such. You have demonstrated that I need not be afraid, because no matter how difficult things are, you have never wavered.

I’m sure there were times when you were scared. Times when you wondered if you were strong enough to complete the journey you had embarked on. It’s human nature. Nevertheless, you never let it show.

I have watched you overcome every obstacle in your path with grace and confidence as your confidence skyrocketed. You see, we are usually capable of more than we think. Most people are too afraid to step out of their comfort zone, even if it means sacrificing their happiness. I didn’t want to be one of those people.

Bean in Mexico.

You were the first person I came out to and you have stood by me through every step of my transition. We don’t see each other as often anymore, but not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without you and I can never express how grateful I am to have you in my life. I know you will always be there for me and I hope you know I will always be there for you too. After all, we barn rats have to stick together.

Your friend,
Jay

Jay Robinson graduated from Savannah College of Art and Design in May 2020 and lives in Los Angeles. He was a member of the equestrian team at Savannah College of Art and Design. He can be reached on Instagram @jrobb_83 or by email ([email protected]).

Read Robinson exit story.

If you would like to write a letter to an LGBTQ model, send us a message at [email protected] or send a direct message to Twitter or Instagram (@outsports).